Why I stopped "Searching" for my purpose
Today July 27th is my birthday and dare I say I AM HAPPY.
Every year on my birthday I go through a few days of feeling unaccomplished. Somehow everyone looking at my life from the outside thinks it looks great but I'm always on the inside feeling unfulfilled.
2015 was the first time I consistently encountered the word "Purpose". Everything and everyone around me was talking about finding your purpose", living your purpose", making a living from your purpose", etc. this made me feel so inadequate. I was doing a lot of things at the time which I was fine with till I journeyed into "Finding my purpose".
It was a struggle, I was unhappy. I wanted to quit my job, I wondered if my business was the right one, I wondered if I was going to the right church, I wondered if I had the right people around me. The more I worried about what my purpose was supposed to be, the more I felt alone and depressed.
By December/January 2016/2017, I was on my knees again to God because I felt my life was not being useful. I had a lot of projects before me but I didn’t feel fulfilled. I kept feeling empty like "I have a purpose, why can’t I find it".
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I think I may have been looking for some divine sign from heaven with a voice saying "My daughter, my daughter, this is your purpose". Well, that did not happen. I was not content with where I was. I am ashamed to say this but comparison crept it.
"If X is living their purpose and doing Y, why can’t I be doing Z if I'm living my purpose? So if I’m not doing Z, I must not be living my purpose". That was the life I was living, it was sad. God obviously did not give me a response at the time, but He found a way to put my heart at peace. My strongest attribute is having Faith even after crying my eyes out. At the end of the day, God is still my only Hope.
Fast forward a few months later, and I have a different outlook on the whole purpose thing. (This is my opinion)
You are not always going to get a clear and distinct voice telling you what your purpose is, and worrying about it is like worrying about tomorrow which by the way will take care of itself. If God created you for a purpose and He can see that you are willing to walk in it, do you really think He's going to leave you without putting things in motion for you to walk in your purpose??
Let me answer that, HE WON'T!
If you are struggling with "finding your purpose" these pointers might help:
STOP SEARCHING: Seriously, it's like waking up every day constantly looking for love in every guy or girl that says "hi" to you. We all know that those who spend every waking day looking for love never find it. It's always those people who were not looking that fall face flat into it. You will walk right into your purpose at the appointed time.
BE DILIGENT WHERE YOU ARE: The fact that we are in a microwave generation has made us so impatient we expect everything to come to us immediately. Sorry sis, that's not how it works. We all have our paths and just because Becky got it in 3 months does mean you won’t have to work 3years to get yours. You don’t know where Becky has been or what happened prior to those 3 months so you can’t base your "success" on that.
GOD WILL USE YOUR PURPOSE TO MAKE WAY FOR YOU: If you stay diligent where you are, God will open the right doors from unexpected situations. I was in a leadership class the other day and someone was asking same questions: "How do I find my purpose, how do I know I'm walking in my purpose?:
The answer: You are probably in a season that is preparing you for your purpose and you don't know it. 2) Your purpose might have already been whispered into your ears but it's either not what you want or not flamboyant enough for you. All you can do is pursue whatever you are currently doing diligently and you will end up right where you need to be. God will open the right doors at the right time.
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FIND A WAY TO BE CONTENT WITH YOUR PRESENT: I was so overwhelmed with finding my purpose that I was losing interest in everything going on in the present and that's really not a way to live. Feeling like that leaves you constantly emotionally exhausted. Living a content life can sometimes be difficult but it ALWAYS pays off. Being content with your present is not the same as being complacent. It's being OK with where you are, knowing there is more. And not obsessing about the more, but allowing yourself live in the present; while being open to the "more" that will come at the appointed time.
So yeah, today is my birthday and although there are a lot of things I wish I have done and a lot I plan to do; I take solace in the fact that I am not where I used to be. I will continue to do my best, and make the best out of all opportunities that come my way while creating my own opportunities where I deem it fit and I will win at the end.
Right now, I am finding fulfillment in helping other people navigate the e-commerce world. Let's see what I'm saying by 2018.
Your turn! How did you find your purpose? What did you learn from that journey? Comment below! I'd love to know!